By Maggie Dubbs –
I love sarcasm, I mean come on, who doesn’t. Oh wait, maybe some people actually don’t. Oh well. There’s not a day I go without making some kind of idiotic joke to a student, teacher or even my parents.
It’s not meant to personally attack that individual, though unfortunately it does happen that way sometimes, but I find it to be amusing. The best part about being able to understand and speak the sarcastic language is that you know you have a sense of humor. Life would be nothing without a couple laughs here and there. With that being said, certain people go about it a different way. Mine is to make fun of and mock things that appear funny to me.
I’m not cocky, but I have been told I am funny. And a part of that humor is mostly from being sarcastic. Some people would consider it mean. I have no problem ripping off a phrase such as “No, you don’t say” and “Oh really? I would have never known” when something is completely obvious. It might frustrate people, but I always seem to get a chuckle out of it.
I also have no problem ripping people’s heads off and being bluntly honest.
Since people know me to be sarcastic, I used it to express my honesty without them even knowing. They take it as sarcasm and laugh about it, when I’m really trying to just get a message across about how I don’t like them or they need to go away, yet they don’t take it like that.
I remember one time in class Ian Noll asked me if I had any gum my response was “Yeah, I do. But not for you” which then followed with a bunch of “Oh shoot-s” from people at my table, and a fist bump from one. After the fact I did give Ian a piece of gum, but it was the fact that a little comment like that made me have the slightest grin on my face that would last the rest of my day to remind myself of what I thought was funny.
I found a picture one time with a guy with that certain sarcastic grin, the kind that doesn’t show your teeth, and one corner of your lips are turned slightly upward towards your eye so that your cheek muscle rises, but not to an extended amount. The picture had this guy and a saying that said “I’m not a sarcastic person, I’m just a funny person surrounded by idiots.” I agree with this because it honestly just means we have our own types of humor. Some being that like sarcasm.
One of my good friends mentioned to me the other day that he hates sarcasm, and my response was, “How are we even friends, because you know that’s all I am,” and he agreed. But it didn’t bother him because the sarcasm I use around him was not directed at him. Also because I wasn’t trying to be funny, it just kind of rolled off my tongue like a natural flow of words.
It just bothers me so much when people fail to realize the simple things in life.
For example, at the grocery store when your cart is full and it seems as if you never will have enough room on that black conveyor belt that probably has some water spots from the last person who used it. The cashier asks you “Oh would you like a bag for this?” like “No actually I’ll just put it all in my pocket” I mean really. Can’t you have some common sense?
I had a neighbor walk by one time when I was washing my car in the middle of July on a hot day. He said to me “Oh, you’re washing your car today I see,” my response to that was then “Nah, I’m just watering it to see if it will grow into a bus.”
My dad got a good laugh out of that one as well.
Going into restaurants is also interesting. When going up to the wooden, probably slightly chipped greeters station, and they ask you if you would like a table for your party of four. Like, “No, actually I’ll have a carpet. Carpet for four please.” Obviously we went there to eat dinner at table. Don’t ask me a question like that.
Sarcasm. Probably .5 percent say “Oh, I see what you did there,” the other 99.5 think, “Are you really that stupid?”
While driving around deep windy roads with trees that top your view of anything else, I found myself behind a white panel van tracing the outline of its doors and license plate because it was going incredibly slow and I was bored. Going around a curve, with no other way to go on the road, this van put its turn signal on. I thought to myself, “Oh really, you’re turning? Oh good, me too.”
Everyday common sense things that people seem to miss.
When standing at an elevator and someone continually presses the button as if that will make it go faster, you say to them “Look at you go, you broke the elevator code, if you press the elevator button three times after the first hit, it goes into ‘hurry’ mode.” Like no, just wait like the rest of the average people waiting for the elevator to come down.
All in all, if there weren’t so many idiotic people in the world, I wouldn’t have a problem. But unfortunately I can’t change their way of thinking…or speaking. So I’ll continue my sarcasm and honesty forever.